Many of you young whipper snappers may not remember "Slade". They wrote "C'mon Feel The Noise" which was covered by the very lame hair band, "Quiet Riot". Big Jim Slade (the bands name sake) is the dark haired one in the back. He wrote all the hit songs. He was/is a very competent musician, and yet he relegated himself to the back. He believed he wasn't good enough to be up front. It is a problem that still haunts him on our rides....tragic. Humble? Yes. Shy? Maybe. Insecure? Well, he wasn't breast fed, and I think we all know the damage that can cause. It was a genetic twist (no pun) that his wet nurse had inverted nipples. It really sucked (pun) for Jim, but for his wet nurse, it was an occupational nightmare.
Sunday, Jim had a bad ride. Bad like Lincolns night at the Ford theatre. First, he rode off a cliff, and then he tried to see what would happen if he went into a corner real fast, locked his front brake, and turned the bars. After that, he had to lay down for a little bit. Later in the ride, he tried to kill Big Worm by throwing his body in front of him. Worm seemed to think it was funny, but the rest of our gentile crew was horrified. Darien got the vapors!
Now the back story is, we made a pre-spring trade for the Slade. We shipped off one of our MVP's to Cali (because he was an uncaring twit) and in return we got the kind, likable, Slade. Now our crew is a lot like the Mob. We decide who comes in, and there is only one way out DEATH! That, moving, or not riding with us anymore.
Now Slade had a bad outing, and this is to be expected in the pre-season. Call it jitters, jinx or something else that starts with J. Crash (no pun) said it best in Bull Durham; "You gotta a million dollar arm and a nickle brain!" Now that has nothing to do with Slade, but it's my favorite quote from the movie.
Slade, you will suit up tomorrow, and you will ride, because you are with us now! Lube your chain, straighten out that puss (no pun) and we'll see ya tomorrow! We know where you live!
By the way, "Slade's" other big hit?
"Run, Run, Away".
Not this time Jim!
W.B.Z.N.
