I'm telling ya right now kiddies you better fasten your seat belt because this is going to be a bumpy ride. If you hate it when I spout off about travails of being a cyclist in this part of the world, I am giving you a guilt free pass, to change the channel. You will not hear one ounce of rebuke from me. Go ahead I'll give you a minute to switch over to Jill or Bike Snob.
Here's the quick breakdown of why I am fuming. In the past two weeks I have been splayed on the pavement by a guy walking against a light. I had a group of subhumans, open a car door intentionally on me. I was lectured by a guy (with his dog off the leash on Fern) for going too fast. I am not even going to delve into all the stink eye/no replies, I get on Tom Brown and surrounding trails, when I say "hi" to all the "other" users. I guess today I am a little sick of being part of the most hated minority on wheels. I get a little tired of following rules and still getting treated as though I have no rights anywhere on a bike. Tonight on my solo ride I was: flipped off, cussed at, and swerved at, by some fat F%$# in an S.U.V. who hasn't exercised since the Nixon administration.
Now you would think that I would spend the rest of this blog telling you the sorted details and putting a funny spin on it, but you might as well get your money back right now, cause it ain't going to happen. Instead I want to relay one message to all my brothers and sisters, because I know if you are still reading this you must be a dyed in the wool cyclist or at least a sympathiser. Don't bother trying to educate non riders. Don't bother telling anyone (other than cyclist) your stories. Don't expect anyone to be sympathetic to anything that happens to you, on the road or trail, because the reality is this: They think we are idiots for being out there. To them, we are all over zealous tree hugging, lost cause collectors, that have nothing better to do than get fired up about an issue they see as petty and boring. If they do listen to you beware: it's only so they can tell you a story of an asshole cyclist, they encountered on their ten minute commute.
I am through trying to talk any sense into anyone about this subject. I am also through accepting any responsibility for my part in it, to appear objective. I have tried to see all sides. I have been obeying the traffic laws like Sergeant Friday. All to no avail. I am of the opinion that Gandhi himself would resort to murder if he had to ride in this city for more than a week or two.
Just once in my life I would like to see one of these F#^*'s, get a ticket. Then I could mail off my money to the IRS with a smile. But lets face it...It's not going to happen and we should all stop expecting a good result in this debate. National, state and local government does not give a shit about us or the airways would be littered with P.S.A.'s on the subject. In the very least there ought to be a section of the drivers license test on cycling rights and laws. Don't hold your breathe though, because it is never going to happen. There is no money in it for the stooges, and there are a lot more of them than there is ever going to be of us. We will NEVER have the lobby power, as a group, to change this shit. Get out your spoons kids, cause if you are going to ride a bike, you are going to eat shit.
Bon Appitit!
Thanks for listening.
W.B.Z.N.
