I suppose it is the ungrateful of me to expect great times to last forever. People and times change. It is the only thing you can depend on remaining constant. Eventually agendas diverge and everyone must do what is right for them. I must do the same for myself. I must forgive those on paths different than mine and I must not be so naive to expect forgiveness in return.
There are a lot of trails out there. After a great trip with my son last week, I had a revelation: Monotony is something you do not have to accept. Adventure and diversity is just a car ride and a few hours away. There is more to life than trying to make the same old shit seem interesting. I am tired of being on everyone else's ride. I want to be on MY ride for a change.
This much I know: nothing bicycle related brings me more joy than watching my son ride. Even when I am gripped with fear, watching him roll into and out of lines I am afraid to ride. I have waited forever to get to this point with him. I will not be denied that pleasure by anyone or anything. It is a fleeting chapter, and in a blink he will be faster than me, off at college, riding with his friends, or off the bike and onto something else. I can't apologize for enjoying what I deserve. I have missed too much in the past, and I would like to have this one thing I managed not to mess up.
So if I seem distant, or uncooperative, please give me a pass. I don't mean to offend anyone. I am just doing the right thing and it makes me happy.