I suppose like most great endeavors, it started innocently with good intentions. I never really saw the ramifications or any need to change my life. I assumed I could be who I always was and live life as I always had. A regular Joe in a regular world.
The demands crept in slowly and the metamorphosis was not noticeable at first. The perks and prestige began to corrupt at a slow enough pace. A good table here, a free drink there, a wink from the door man as he lowered the velvet rope. Did I enjoy it, who wouldn't? I was seduced and I felt as though all my hard work had paid off.
I could never give them enough of what they wanted. The pressure began to overwhelm me. They would never be satisfied. They would only ask for more.
I was surrounded by a lot off people I thought were cool, but slowly I realized they all wanted something from me. Little things would come up in conversations like:
"That would be a funny thing for your blog!"
It was fine for a while and then a few fans showed up at my house. (Google bastards!) My kids couldn't ride the bus anymore. We had to hire a Israeli body guard. Clearly things had gone beyond normal. I had no idea how I got here, or where to go now.
The blog business is not for the faint of heart. You are only as good as your last blog. I found myself wondering as John Lennon had about; "Getting off the merry go round."
Maybe I just had to, as he did:
"Let it go."
I can't say I was totally naive. I knew it was a dog eat dog, or... dog doesn't comment on dog's blog, world. You can't come out of a whore house and say you didn't feel loved. We all knew why we were here.
I stand before you a broken man, at the crossroads of the blog world. Do I shake hands with the devil or go back to who I was, if that's possible? I would like to say I am sorry but alas ....who would listen.
w.b.z.n.
