Sunday, February 3, 2008

Circles part deux

I was talking on the ride today (like I always do) about how lucky we are to have a crew and cycling. I know how macho libre we all are, and I know we hate to say stuff like this but, thank God for our friends and the common thread....bikes. Hug it out Bitches!
" I digress;
After writing the "Circles" post a couple days ago, my oldest and best friend Kevin sent me an email. There are some other things about that post I conveniently left out. Make a sandwich, get a cold drink, and get comfy this could take a while.
Kevin and I met when we were kids. He was a drummer in his family band and they played on a float in the P.S.L. 4th of July parade. He was ten or so. It was the reason I became a drummer. He moved to Ft. Pierce and we lost touch for awhile but later we both found surfing and each other again. By 1985 we had become very close. I had a bad break up and Kevin made it his hobby to break me out of my self imposed depression.
He decided we should enter a surf contest and make a pact to surf everyday for thirty days. If the waves were flat (often) we'd just paddle. We had mock heats. We would see how many waves we could get in fifteen minutes. I ended up staying with he and his young wife, eating all their food and taking up any free time they might have spent together. That was the fall season I spoke of in the post. I'm pretty sure I stayed at Kevin's the night before that epic dawn patrol.
There are so many stories I could tell you about this guy, like the way he bought a new car when he let my wife and I stay at his house in Hawaii. He didn't want us to ride in his old car on our honeymoon, or the time he took me to the Town and Country factory to buy a board when I was in Hawaii the first time. That day I met Ben Aipa and Dane Kealoha, (two of my hero's) all because of Kevin. He paddled me into my first wave on the North Shore because I was frozen in the channel with fear. I could go on and on but, I owe him my life for pulling me out of that tough time.
To think of my life without this guy in it, is impossible.
When I left town I believed that I shouldn't tell anyone because I was trying making a new start and I wanted to do it alone. I didn't want to make a grand gesture. I didn't want any goodbyes. It was a deeply personal decision and I never considered the harm it would cause to Kevin.
I moved to Tallahassee, started a band, met my wife, made new friends and in the deepest form of denial, tried to forget my former life. When I finally contacted Kevin again he was in Hawaii. He brought up how I left but, I skirted the issue and he let me slide.
To this day I have never talked about it with him, probably because I knew I could never justify it.
Kevin is now a graphic artist at Newsweek Magazine. His award winning work has appeared in Time, Rolling Stone, Popular Science, National Geographic and many others. When ever I was in New York with socialburn, he would drop everything to come see me for five minutes.
Even if no one sees this but him, and everyone else I know clicks away after two lines, I want to have it in writing. What I did was selfish and wrong and I will never forgive myself. Friends are such a precious commodity and we need to remember that the good old days are now and one day soon, we will all be looking back, wishing we had said the things we wanted to, only to watch time swallow the opportunity.
I'm sorry Bro.
Hug it out Bitches!



Ms. Moon said...

That was a beautiful post.
One time I overheard a conversation between two women. One old, one young. The young one was going on and on, apologizing for not dropping by and visiting the older one more often. The older lady stopped her and said, "Honey, I don't care about when I don't see ya, I'm just happy when I do."
I'll bet that Kevin feels that way about you. We all do things in our youth we're not proud of. But we can say our "I'm sorries" and sometimes, we're forgiven and I'll bet you will be too.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Thanks, he is a true freind. One of the only people that never wanted anything from me but a laugh. That's a good deal for us both!
Thanks for coming by!

Ms. Moon said...

My pleasure.