Tuesday, February 5, 2008

"Things that won't happen for a thousand please Alex!"

I have some scores to settle and some things to say and I am not sure any of them will be connected. I started this blog because I was inspired by Juancho and Big Worm and I thought it might be cool to tell some stories about my ridiculous life. Lets face it we really don't need another perspective on the Tally Cycling scene. After Juancho gets out the big pen, and Worm lays down the knowledge, getting my opinion is kind of like asking a guy with a white cane what happened to Kennedy when you have a copy of the Zapruder film.
Now for the rant portion of our show. We have several things to cover so please wait till the end of our program and I will take questions.
1. A couple weeks ago at Munson, Bushi and Squatch worked me over pretty good. I went to Juancho's site to praise them and got no response.
BASTARDS!
Bushi and I are even after tonight and I wonder; Are the hairs standing up on Squatches malnourished neck? Will he ever venture away from the comfort of trails with no features? I'm coming for you big man!
2. Recently Red Dragon threw down a gauntlet. He is going to train and kick every one's ass (insert pro wrestling catch phrase here). I will lay money that Spanish Mackerel dances with his date at Bump and Grind. He looks good, we need change, my vote is for the man on the little Anthem.

Lastly, Florida has been plagued by invasive species for years, paper trees, Australian pines, kudzu and now we have a new biblical scourge.
The New Hampshire Huckster. Pizza Steve is under the impression I am going to buy him a pizza. He has about as much chance of that happening as he does of catching polio. Now, Steve is in the hall of fame right by Pete and The Curl, but buying him a pizza for riding that slippery log out at Red Bug, is like someone paying me to talk a lot. If it's going to happen anyway, there's no need for reinforcement. Seriously, we were all impressed, but I have enough friends so, take your pimping van with your little crypt keeper dog, and go dent some peoples cars, because the pizza store is closed. We don't respond to intimidation and we don't take American Express.
There's a new kid in town and his name is:
The Wrecking Ball.
Over and Out!
W.B.Z.N.

4 comments:

sasquatch said...

Trails without features!! You've forced my hand: I'll meet you at the Miccosukee Greenway at dawn.

If that doesn't convince you, I'll race you around Lake Overstreet, and I'll even throw in a Power Line run if you just insist on a technical schooling.

BTW, I don't ride any trails named after insects, cars, trees, or men with the last name Brown. It just wouldn't be right.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

I really want to give you a hard time, but that was just too funny!
W.B.

Magnum said...

Isn't it Red BUD trail (because of the trees, which still leaves out sasquatch)?

Human Wrecking Ball said...

I noticed Pedrick was not mentioned we can bypass cadillac.
w.b.