Sunday, March 1, 2009

Let It Roll

I am fairly cruel when it comes to R.D.'s bouts with windmills. I suppose it's because I have traveled down so many (lost cause) roads that when I see the streak in another, my anger makes me lash out. All our bad traits are attached to bad memories.

When Red Dragon and Frog Legs (sorry, I just can't call him Bike Diet with a straight face) brought up the idea of a race, I launched into my sarcastic trifecta. The rolling eyes, the wise ass comment, the list of other ideas in the scrap heap. A verbal combo only Rocky and R.D. could take with a smile. I give him a lot of shit, but I think he would agree when push comes to shove, I don't mind handing him a sword and pointing at the next turbine.

You see, you have to watch those guys with big ideas. Especially the ones that aren't afraid to hang their balls in the wind. Guys like that have a tendency to hit bulls eyes. People with safe warm balls, tucked away in pleated trousers, mostly just stare out windows from cubicles, dreaming of what it would be like to put it all on RED 27 and spin.

If you made it out to the race today, I bet you had fun. If you didn't come out, I'll bet after hearing some stories, you'll wish you had. It was just organized enough to be fair, and just chaotic enough to be cool. Don't feel bad, someones got to wear the pleated pants...might as well be you.


http://www.cliffleonard.com/redbug/?detectflash=false&

W.B.Z.N.

24 comments:

RickySilk said...

I'll never give you a hard time about not racing as long as you're the MC.

Ms. Moon said...

I read the article in the newspaper and I loved the ending line:
"Bicycling is fun."

BIGWORM said...

Everyone I saw asked, "Who the hell gave Wrecking Ball a microphone?". And yet at the same time, they all said it was the best idea of the day!

Way to keep your sick self in the mix!

Yo, DJ!

BIG JIM said...

Do you do Bar Mitzvahs?

juancho said...

Once I heard you weren't racing I lost all motivation.

nicol said...

That's cool you were the MC, HWB! Bigworm's comment cracked me up! I bet it was a good time. :)Looked cold in the pictures on that link you put up.

Anonymous said...

I sure do like the way you eat that banana! ummhumm

Human Wrecking Ball said...

and there it is. I had my money on comment number three. The winner of the pool can pick up his money at the front desk.

Mingo said...

The cold, the roots, riding a loaner kids bike with 50lbs of tire pressure and locked out fork rebound was worth it. The best part, seeing Aucilla Sinks turn in a damn good sport class race, his first race of any kind in 12 years, riding the race with Steve Pizano and Rita of GBS, until she dropped me at the start of the third lap, cutting by the hole shot pileup (thanks Larry, I got a jump on 10 or more riders) seeing my old friend Larry Meyer (we started the trail bike shop together) watching the kids race, although Colter crashed and had a mechanical (he was last but he did finish) Hanna hated her first race, 5 shirts, blue jeans, her mom’s bike and my helmet had no affect I’m sure.

The hot shower, hot meal, some fine spirits and the couch felt great.

bikediet said...

Terry, the microphone terror, rippin other MC's like he just don't care-a. You did awesome. Unfortunatley, you did so good that you will never be allowed to race in a BC event again. In my eyes, you were the highlight of the day.....

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Thanks Frog Legs, and everyone else.
RD and I felt like someone pissed in our Cheerios when you guys rode off. It's hard to race, it's harder not to. I had fun messin with everyone. It was a grand day.

AucillaSinks said...

The Bike Chain crew and friends did a bang up job in the planning and execution of this event. But the wind, cold and gray were so tough, that if it had not been for WB's superb MC skills, things could have gotten a little flat.
I had a ball doing loops with "the old farts" as Mrs. Sinks coined us. She had a great time too, especially visiting with WB, Big Worm and Mingo.
Nobody's told me yet what the purse was for sixth place in the Sport II Seniors but they have my mailing address.

Spanish Mackerel said...

Sorry WB but your typecast now! I gotta second Bikediet, I know you want to race but your MC skillz can't be topped.

I mean it, you did a great job on the mic.......and that banana too.

bikechain said...

Too bad we already have a silk in our group cause that was you on Sunday. maybe smooth operator will work? Anyhow, nobody else wants the mic after you. Great job!

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Thanks, but seriously, you know all this postive reinforcement is going to doom any chance of me being good at the next event right? I am at my best when treated badly and beaten down. So lets go back to our regularly scheduled abuse shall we?

bikediet said...

You are right, you sucked so bad: You could prolly suck start a Harley, or suck a banana through a garden hose. You bombed and tanked. It was pure doo doo. On the upside? You prolly would have done worse in the race than you did on the mic. I don't know, hmmmm, it would have been close for sure. Better luck next time, loser.

AucillaSinks said...

Um, good E WB. But if you're gonna hold the mic next time you might consider hitting the treadmill and adding some color touch ups first. You're getting kind of old but no need to shout it out.

Mingo said...

you would have sucked on the bike just as you did on the mic so don't go getting no big head. Seaking of big heads that banana picture has me... well it just has me think of you

Human Wrecking Ball said...

.....and you may ask yourself: "My God what have I done?"....

See Juancho? All you have to do is open the floor to insults and the comments go through the roof. I can hear the keys clicking all over town!

juancho said...

I know. I'm sitting here paralyzed with the options. Too many directions to take this opportunity...

Spanish Mackerel said...

Hmmmmmm lemme see, oh yeah! I've seen porn with chicks on fruit but never man on fruit. The solid rogering you gave that banana has the industry abuzz! You definitely sucked on the mic, sucked on the......ok, i'm over that, and would surely have sucked on the bike. Go sit in a corner, suck a thumb and cry for mama, BC will pay a tickturd to MC the next race.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Jeez, let a guy do one race a century and he gets all uppity. See ya on the next ride in 2012.
Sorry about the banana but, shaving your Moms back depleted my potassium.
I also lent her the money for those Jonas brothers sheets you wanted....to go with your pajamas...glad to help.

BIGWORM said...

I wondered how long it would be before you cracked. At least you went with original material. Well actually, shaving Mom's back is almost as original as "Oooh bip, potato chip, stick your head in onion dip.".

bikechain said...

.... good evening Mr. Mackerel... party of one? Tonight's special is tea and cumprets... Mr. Wrecking Ball will be your server...