Thursday, June 4, 2009

Doctor Wu

"So why are you here?"

My demeanor didn't give me away. I was shocked. I figured my expression alone would qualify me as a research subject.

"I'm hurting and I want to fix it." I looked at her and waited for a reaction. It probably takes an awful lot to impress her, she is a professional.

She looked right at me, but avoided anything I would consider staring. I wonder if they teach you that in school: Non Invasive Assessment Observation 101. I assumed she was looking for flaws, without giving away the knowledge she was gathering. I sat like a specimen and waited.

"Today we are only going to do a basic evaluation. It may take a long time to get to the root of the pain. It may take even longer to come up with a strategy to correct these issues, after all it took a long time to get here and it will take a long time to improve. With a little work you can improve and hopefully the pain will be reduced too. What would like to accomplish with this therapy?"

"I want to feel good again, like I did before. I want to be strong. I want to prevent this from happening." I said. It feels worse when the words actually come out of your mouth.

"Well it's important for your recovery that you realize it could happen again and that you may not ever get back to how you felt before." She smiled knowingly. She had seen my type. Unrealistic and angry, in dire need of being broken down and built back up with a different skill set. She knows what the patient needs. I suppose it means more when we get there on our own. It must be hard to watch as we build the little castles, when she knows the tide is rising.

"How did all this happen?" she said in an obvious open ended way.

"Years of abuse, bad habits, and a few accidents. I never really considered being forty six. I was always going from one fiasco to the next. I never took the easy road to anything, and now I am broken. I'll do what you tell me."

"Good. There will be times this is going to hurt, but I promise, it will get easier." She sounded confident. I wondered if there was ever a cool way to be weak in front of a woman. If there was I hadn't found it. I fidgeted like a child, aware of my every mannerism.

"Lets do some exercises and see how you react." She made me do ridicules things. Some hurt, some seemed silly, some were hard to replicate. I did them all, and slumped when it was over. I let out an airy sigh.

"I want you to do these exercises and I will see you next week." She punctuated the sentence, and I knew it was time to leave. Like a robot I stood up, thanked her, and walked towards the receptionist. More appointments. Something else to remember. One more thing I don't want to do. One more reminder, I am not who I once was. Time to make another bargain.

Sooner or later we all find out we can't do the same things forever. Repetition Stress Disorder: doing the same thing over and over until it causes injuries. We either change or continue to fail. Either way it hurts.



juancho said...

The airy sigh didn't come out of your butt right? That's something.

The Old Bag said...

Be strong.

Anonymous said...

Ahhhh. Cake plus cookie.


Ms. Moon said...

Well. Whoever this Dr. Wu is, she sounds extremely practical and pragmatic. I'm proud of you.

nicol said...

You're still a young pup, you can come back from this.

JenyJo said...

do what she says. care for yourself and you will heal.

be strong... be patient...

good luck, and keep us posted!


Human Wrecking Ball said...

I am actually feeling and riding well. I am going to have to do a lot more maintenance to stay healthy.
I think it's interesting that the preliminary questions in physical therapy are very simular to psychotherapy, that's what I was shooting for, the connection between the two. I think explaining a blog premise is like asking if someone had an orgasm, if it was good it would be obvious. Either way, hit or miss, you gotta mix it up once in a while.

Anonymous said...

Well, it is good that you are getting some head-work done, as well. ...Lord knows, you need it.


Mingo said...

there is a lot more maintenance for sure. I'm rolling my shoulder as I type to make sure its stays flexible. Hitting that tree today didn't hurt. I sat in an hour long meeting 4 weeks ago and came out with some killer shoulder pain.

Magnum said...

Dr. "Wu"...giggle
That's what BabyGirl calls her girl junk...
snicker, giggle.

But I hope it works, really.


The Old Bag said...

My bro is a PT and has talked about the psychological component of chronic pain (helped develop a new program in his clinic)...can't treat one aspect in isolation from the other.

Too many overlook the connection.

Anonymous said...

Thurs, Fri, Sat, Sun... We are glad the rehab is doing it for you, but the homo-erotic thing has got to go.


Petit fleur said...

Hey there,

Sorry bout the meeting, but you write beautifully.

May I suggest Tai chi to supplement your other therapies? Docs usually never suggest it, and Im not sure if anyone really knows the magical reasons why it helps, but it does help a great many things.

Take er easy,
xo pf