Monday, February 21, 2011

Mysterious Ways


I am on the verge of surfacing from my third baptism, no wiser than I was on my first.


When I was six, I fell asleep on a kick board in a pool, in St. Mary's Pennsylvania. My Uncle Tom, had just been fitted for a suit. He was walking towards the pool with a priest, when I woke up on the bottom. I pushed for the surface and tried to yell for help. My lungs filled with chlorinated water and I drowned. He jumped in, pulled me out and resuscitated me. I woke up to see a priest, my uncle and my parents looking down at me.


I used to surf at a place called, "The Power Plant". It was deserted most days my friend Rob and I surfed there. On a huge day in November, we paddled out, side by side. We were almost out, when a huge set came through. Rob squeaked by, but I took the whole set on the head and lost my board. I was stuck in the rip and couldn't make any progress. When the next set drove me to the bottom, I heard a voice clearly say: "this is it". I got pushed in by a wave, and ended up in shallow water.


I wonder what it is I am supposed to learn? I don't feel like I live in a fog. I have lost enough to know that nothing should be taken for granted. (Deity of choice) knows I could be a better person, but I have done a lot of good in this life too. The only thing I really know is that for the first time in my life, I know fear. The fear that comes with realizing nothing can keep you safe. The blinders are off.


I am a week away from a date I have been watching for six months. I am at the gate of a mythical goal that I hoped would find me feeling different. I had hoped to feel like my debt was paid and that my sins were erased. I wanted to feel reborn. Every time this happens on T.V. or in a book, there is a message.


All the great currencies of a life; love, health, passion, (insert more here) are limited. It is easy to miss the point. Pay attention, it's happening right now.




W.B.Z.N.

7 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

And Sugar, I am well aware of that.
Amen.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Thx Sister Moon.

Magnum said...

Damn, you're good at the revelation! Speak it! Take me to the river brother! Push me into the water!

the blinders are off, damn straight!

Human Wrecking Ball said...

till I can't, I can't take no more...

The Old Bag said...

sandbagger

Human Wrecking Ball said...

BASTARDS!!!!

Magnum said...

BASTARDS!! right back atcha!