Friday, December 9, 2011

My Midnight Confession



Bless me blogger for I have sinned. It has been a month my last bloggfession. I have taken the trail in vain twenty two times. I have used abusive language to fellow cyclers ....well ...a shit load. I have lusted after obstacles and had unprotecteded affairs with logs I had no business jumping. I have convented trails with rocks and skinnies and logs (oh my!). I have ridden with my fork locked out for an entire Cadillac night ride. I have denied light to a friend riding a step up in the dark. I have laughed at others when they rode off trail. I have failed to ride when the weather permitted. I have blamed my bike and tires for mistakes that were clearly caused by my bad braking and cornering. I have swung vines into riders behind me. I have been racist toward any and all "STRIPES"! I have half wheeled Paul Lawrence and Dave Norman (two men in dire need of skills and nick names). I have done the Higher Ground ride three times.

I am not sorry for my sins and I plan on committing more of these offences and many others.

9 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

Perfect.

Ms. Moon said...

P.S. CRAZY blog redecoration. And I should have added to my first comment: Now say two Hell Marys.

Holy Fodder of Tard, Magnum said...

Hail WB,
Full of Cranks,
The Fork is with thee.
Blessed art thou among sandbaggers,
and blessed is the stem
of thy frame, maybe.
CroMoly,
Mother of Ti,
pray for us whiners now,
and at the hour of race.

Hymen.

The Old Bag said...

Love it

Human Wrecking Ball said...

As usual the Mag comment is better than the blog.
Thanks all.

Treeman said...

Wow, called out in name. I'm glad I didn't read this before the weekend.

I would be careful if I were you though. Making fun of "The Church" has been known to cause bad things to happen.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

I kid because I love. You may never learn to brake, turn, get over obstacles or be funny, but you will always be faster than me. For that I must mock you.

Petit fleur said...

This is beauty! You were so cracking me up at the concert. It was fun palling around with you!

Hope to see you all Friday eve. Our mutual friend said he can get me on "the poor people list"

xoxo

WheelDancer said...

I don't always enjoy memories of sitting in that little dark room but you have refashioned it in fine style for the church of the big ring. Well done!