Friday, August 23, 2013

Don't Crack Up

You ride too much. You quit riding. You come back but don't commit. You start playing music again. You turn fifty and question every decision since the summer of 79. You remember who your friends are and that they will not wait forever. You write a story (you are not sure why or what it meant). It takes a year, and runs off the folks that like to read about how shitty you ride bikes. You are blessed but you struggle.

The calm returns one day on a solo ride, to the coast and back. It is a ride born from anger. You are angry with yourself, for not being able to ride with your people. A dusty switch flips and a rusty machine churns in the wind, on the burning lanes of Capital Circle. You are out of water, food and grinning, at the ride you didn't think you could finish.

You remember that you ride bikes. It's not what you do, it's who you are and not doing it makes you an unbearable, bi polar, fuck face. You start riding more and have a couple small victories: Complete a group ride with the crew. Finish a Chaires ride (thanks to luck and a friend that pulled your carcass home). You get invited to a ride that you normally would have been on the "no call list' for. It starts to come back a little. You get the shit kicked out of you at Munson for the uncountable kabillionth time. It's not supposed to be easy.

The cross bike is aptly named, it is the crucible of truth and the revelatory place where the spirit was waiting. It is the cave where the visions come. The trip you hated that you can't wait to make again. It's "the fucking bike" you are going to ride back to the fold.

I cannot promise I won't start some convoluted story here again (if the ghosts start talking, I must write) but for now, I am back on the bike, and blah blah blogging about it.

Tell your friends.



BIG JIM said...

Love it!

BIG JIM said...

You Bi Polar Fuck Face

Human Wrecking Ball said...


Anonymous said...

glad your back...
by the way, I enjoyed the story.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

ohh mystery like.

nicol said...

Oh, you write about whatever you want. I'll be reading. You've seemingly come a long way from where you were last year (bike-wise) and that makes me happy. :-)

BIGWORM said...

You've come a long way in so many ways, in the past few years. I'm just stoked to see you happy.

Read this. I found it so true for all of us striving to "come back", "climb the ladder", or just plain hang on.

Magnum said...

"Brought you here, the galaxy has. Your path, clearly, this is."

"You know what I'm looking for."

"Something lost. A part of yourself, perhaps. That which you seek, inside, you will find."

I just figured you had a Dagobah experience. Welcome back young master.