Thursday, February 28, 2008

AHHHH!!! Doughnuts!!!

Big Worm has a training secret he would rather no one ever found out about. Last week he was seeing doughnuts everywhere. His dreams and waking hours were haunted by visions filled with cream, jelly and sprinkled with colors that only heaven could create. Like all visions of the night, the craving consumed him, and he caved to temptation. He added a slurpy, coffee, ice cream foamy to the twisted plan.
The transfomation was a painfull metamorphosis. The power of the pastry coursed though him, and the evil it possessed merged with the mortal. Try as he might to vomit forth the satanic blend, he could not. The grip of darkness was upon him and would not let him free. In the aftermath, he was more than human, more than doughnut, he was...... Evil Dough Man.
Last night I was the sad recipient of his wrath. I was lured out into the cold, black night. A small ride, with all the makings of a leasurely cruise, became the stuff of childhood nightmares. I watched in horror as he changed before me, ripped my leggs off, dipped them in a steaming cup of anguish, and ate them, not unlike the bear claws of his sick and demented dreams.
Cycling lowers it's head in defeat, as the Krispy Kream Empire raises it's demonic fist in victory.

1 comment:

BIG JIM S. said...

As I like to call him, Big Richard (a/k/a BIG WORM) has always had that quiet evil side about him. He can intimidate without saying a word. A simple smug look accompanied by a grinch type of grin and, almost unnoticeable, nod of the head lets you know that trouble lies ahead.

Now I like a good doughnut as much as the next guy. Krispy Kreme has sold me more than one chocolate/crème filled éclair over the years. I’m all about a new race team in honor of Big Richard’s new training staple. Hmmmm, but what to name the new team…how ‘bout the “bakers dozen”. We may need to work on the name and jersey design.