Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Late For The Sky


I have an office in my house. Years ago in a galaxy far, far, away an accountant told me it was a good deduction. We chose square footage, over percentage of house, and it was a healthy write off. The walls were covered in album covers, posters, and billboard charts, given to me by the band. There was a couch for band meetings, a desk, a computer, and a drum set in case my abilities were ever in question, which they often were. The road manager and I used to count money at the end of tours, here. Once there was so much cash, it took us three hours to make sense of it all. The band wrote me a check, for more than I make in three years, when we got a publishing deal with Warner Chapel, right here on this empty desk.

I redecorated recently and decided it would be good to have a bed for guests. The paraphernalia seemed like a football player in his Letterman's jacket, long after graduation. It all came down.

I found some old pictures of myself when I was cleaning up. One of a pretty good front side air, one of my old V.W. bus, and one of me behind the counter at North Jetty Surf Shop. Happy times all. I was twenty three. It's very hard to look back at that simple time. I am sure if I could talk to myself back then, all I would have wanted was everything I didn't have. I had friends surfing in Hawaii, guys were on MTV, dancing with chicks in lingerie. The world was giggling it's keys, and I had my tongue out like a puppy, waiting for someone to throw the ball.

I wonder if I will look back when I am eighty, at pictures of myself at forty five and think, "Man you had it all, and didn't even know it." Looking back, is a great way to get a pain in the neck, and as it turns out, the heart. Second guesses and what if.

A friend I hadn't ridden with in while said yesterday, that I couldn't stand to go slowly uphill. Man he nailed it, and me. Later when I was gassed, he said, "Just keep spinning."

I hear ya brother, I hear ya.



W.B.Z.N.


14 comments:

juancho said...

Is that you in that picture? That ain't you. We ain't MTV, but you got all of us to kick around don't you?

Human Wrecking Ball said...

That is me, my brother Chris took that photo. That ramp had four feet of vert.
I would never kick you around you write too good.....now Squatch on the other hand....

Little Ball said...

That pic is sick! But I think I've seen cooler ones from you on a bike!

Magnum said...

awesome pic! good pull and yeesh, 4 feet of vert? you do know you can cut plywood into usable sections right?

Good writing, I felt every poster come down. 'member what I said about "nostalgia"?

Bounce said...

Time only goes by faster as you get older.

What you are experiencing only gets more intense as time goes on.

It seems like yesterday that my kids were in diapers. Now, they're wanting to learn to drive and they'll be off to college in no time.

I can still remember my parents and grand parents telling me how time flies - that was back when I couldn't wait to turn 21 and it seemed like that day would NEVER come.

LOL

There was one event that helped me, however. It may not seem like it, but it did.

Our house (at the time we lived just north of Homestead, FL) was destroyed by Hurricane Andrew. We lost EVERYTHING.

I had been a fighter pilot (F-16) and every fighter pilot has an "I LOVE ME" wall where you place pics and top-gun trophies and the like.

All that was destroyed.

I think it was one of the best things that could have happened and I think everyone needs to lose EVERYTHING they own at least once in their adult life (fire, flood, tornado, hurricane - anything that takes EVERYTHING with no exceptions). That statement assumes that nobody gets hurt, of course - we were all fine.

Although it really sucks at the time, it helps keep things in perspective.

You'd be amazed at how fast all that crap comes back.

We already need another hurricane!

Ms. Moon said...

I completely know what you're talking about, albeit in completely different "fields". I cannot STAND to go through old pictures- they break my heart. But when I do, I look at the ones of me when I was young and think, "Jeez, I was so beautiful," and I had no idea. Even the ones from my forties!
So yep, when we're eighty, we'll be looking back at THESE times, thinking how young we were and how good it was.
How do we convince ourselves of that fact NOW, though?
Your posts have gotten so thoughtful and thought provoking.
Thanks for them.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Bounce, you killed me with that one. Thanks.
Sister Moon, you are too kind, and you both make so much sense.
I am just waiting for the next crusade. I have never been able to enjoy anything while it was happening. It's only looking back that I get any perspective. But then you have the nostalgia goggles on and who knows what is real or residual emotion. It' good blog fodder...no?

Bounce said...

You have a great way of putting things that many people "feel."

Your statement, "I have never been able to enjoy anything while it was happening" expresses what my life has been like as well.

Your term, "nostalgia goggles" is perfect. I couldn't agree more.

You nail it.

Write some more songs man! You're great at this.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Thanks Man, you realize if I start feeling good about myself for one second the faucet will shut off right? Quick SOMEONE INSULT ME!!!!

reverend dick said...

Meh. I was gonna say what a fine post it was. Not after all this, though.

BIG JIM S. said...

Your old, slow and your legs are hairy!

juancho said...

and your knees knock together when you are riding.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

And order is restored, thanks for bringing the YANG, fellas.

Little Ball said...

you also have a black boner stem and ride like a grandpa!