Sunday, November 30, 2008

Omega Man


I headed down the bike lane early on Thanksgiving. No cars on the road, and no tracks on the trail. It was just what I wanted: a moment alone in the chapel.


I spent my first holiday without parents in 2004 when I had lost my Mom. That year I renovated my garage. I installed cabinets and painted the walls. I put up hooks for bikes and made trips to the dump. I squeezed in a ride before going to eat with the in laws. I wanted to be exhausted so I didn't have the energy to think about what I had lost, and what I was about lose. On the steps of my Mother in laws house, I fired my management partners in New York and called my producer friend John to get out of our production deal. We had been released by Elektra and I was circling the wagons in a last ditch effort to save the band. I knew the barbarians were at the gate, and I didn't have a clue what to do next.


The next year after watching a movie about Jackson Pollack and I went out into the garage and started painting. I built frames and cut some drop cloth and went into an abstract frenzy. I painted almost every day until Christmas. The product was infantile, but the process was pure joy.


This year I was determined to keep the manic demon at bay, and take all the energy out to my favorite trail to let the roots and dirt smooth out my kinks. I came to a favorite spot where necessity and lack of air used to make me pause when I first started riding. I decided to take a picture and I sent out a secret prayer to my parents. I decided to be thankful instead of cursing how cruel fate can be. It was the best Thanksgiving of recent memory.

W.B.Z.N.

10 comments:

Ms. Moon said...

So good to hear your voice, Brother B.
I am glad it was a good Thanksgiving. We learn to deal with our losses. We learn to live on.

Ms. Moon said...

Right when I was leaving my comment on your blog, you were leaving yours on mine.
Uh. Lunch. Soon?

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Amen Sister!

nicol said...

Oh, I am so happy for you that it was a good Thanksgiving this year. :)

nicol said...

Or, the best of recent memory, I should say, instead. Holidays can be rough, for so many reasons, can't they?

Megan M said...

Treat the day like your blank canvas: enjoy the process and make it your own. Glad to hear it was a better holiday for you!

RickySilk said...

I like that spot too.

Fat Lad said...

great words, even better jersey ;)

New Year is my kryptonite, I lost a good friend ten years ago now and weirdly new year always brings it home...

Have you hada anything from ol' blighty recently WB?

Magnum said...

After an Omega is a fresh Alpha.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Thanks all, it really was a good day, just a tad somber/reflective. For me thats not bad at all.

F.L. did you send me something? I havent seen it yet. That ride you had in Scotchland looked quite good!