Thursday, April 23, 2009

You Get What You Give


There's a lot bouncing around the Wrecking Balls manic skull pack today kiddies. Thoughts of transition are playing on the big screen. It's great to enjoy a good era, and it sucks to be at the bottom of the curve, but by far, transition is the worst. My positive attitude about seeing doctors again, lasted about two days, and the possibility of bad news, is leaning on my shoulders with all its weight. However improbable it may be, I always wonder what I will have to give up this time. I don't mind fighting my way back but damn, can I stay this time?


Back in May of 87, I had a cyst removed from my left wrist. As I was coming out of the ether, the doctor told me to prepare for not being able to play drums again. They had to cut tendons to remove the thing growing in my hand, and my ability to move my wrist was forever altered. I gave up skateboarding (a lifetime obsession) and took baby steps back to being the drummer I once was. It took three years and my hand hurts to this day. In 2005, I had ulnar entrapment surgery on my left elbow. It was really just a speed bump. Then two years ago I had the zipper installed in my neck. You all know that story. I am going to look like Edward Scissor Hands by the time they are done with me. *I put that in there so you all would have something funny to comment about...talk amongst yourselves*

I am an all or nothing guy. I always wonder what people are thinking when they say things like "can't you just do it for fun?" or "maybe you could just ...you know not be as serious about it?" I know they are just trying to be positive but I am always to compelled to punch them. For me it is fun to do something as well as I can, and if I can't do that, I find the activity in question aggravating. It's why I don't jam with people. It's why I don't ride a long board, its why I don't sing karaoke. For me it is a reminder that I have lowered the bar yet again, due to circumstances beyond my control.


So I will playing the "worst case scenario" game for the next few days. I have a lot to be thankful for (you have to say that in situations like this, as to not piss off potential omnipotent beings pulling strings on your behalf)....but I have to say I am sailing through the stages of grief at light speed. Then I go back to the top of the list and start over. I have noticed beer helps. I know one way or the other, I will pull this marshmallow out of the fire, but I also know I may not like the taste.


Well universe, thanks for the curve ball.


TRANSITION SUCKS!


W.B.Z.N. ....emphasis on the Z.N.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jeez man. Don't punch that bastard. Save the wrist for bikes -n- drums!

shins

bikediet said...

In response to you saying that you do everything to the best of your ability, I have this to say...you can't possibly be riding your bike to the best of your ability...

Awwwwww man, dang. I can't leave this post like that. You know we love you, now, tighten up and quit moping around. Wanna go to Athens?

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Dude! If you guys knew (I know you do BD) how hard it is to sit in a chair while saying..."they're doing the sprint...they're on the climb."
It sucks but I have got to chill till I see the doc on Monday. I have some crazy stuff happening with my neck and left arm, so I have to not be me for a few more days.
Love you guys too.....bastards!

bikechain said...

I don't know what you are going through. I can't imagine what Mark went through (i'm still pissed for him). But I do know how it feels to be limited for a long time. I know how it feels to want to lay down and not be able to. I do know the bottom less feeling of "will I ever be right?" Bump that, "will I ever be semi-functional again?" I know what you are going through sucks. I just got the mini series scare this week. Unlike you I can see a little light right now. Good luck and keep your chin up. Worst case you and I can be the settup and tear down guys. That is something our crew lacks. Take comfort in we always have a fall back...

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Fuck that! I am starting a rengade recumbent team.....who's with me?!!!

Theres only a couple things I have to work out:
1.Wind fairing or not.
2.Flag on flexy pole or not.
3.Is it manditory to wear tie die, grow a bird nest beard and act like a mentally derranged, cello player?

nicol said...

Yesterday, I saw a guy riding a recumbent with a built-on umbrella shielding him and his dog, who was happily riding in the back. Just sayin'...? ;-)

Human Wrecking Ball said...

They let you bring dogs? SWEET!!!!!

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQ2GUt7gIDk&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kmxus.com%2Fcommunity%2Fvideos%2F&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7U9BVmG2MEo&eurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.kmxus.com%2Fcommunity%2Fvideos%2F&feature=player_embedded

shins

Magnum said...

The Def Leopard drummer was MUCH better with only one arm.

Anonymous said...

So what? You saying they should amputate?

shins