Hey D.J.!

OFFICIAL RULES FOR IPOD OLYMPICS:

1. Every player must have his own Ipod.

2. Any and all genres of music are allowed.

3. You have five seconds to start your song after being handed the dock cord.

4. Yelling, singing along, cheering a selection, talking over songs, providing attached memories, weird facts and trivia is not only encouraged it is required.

5. Each player gets one "pull" if they disapprove another players selection.

6. Players must divulge personal attachments to selections of other players, and any physical reactions such as "goose bumps".

7. Paper and pen are needed to write down awesome selections you have never heard of, for the purpose of down loading later.

8. Points are awarded, but everyone wins.

9. Mundane selections will be met with severe verbal abuse.

W.B.Z.N.

From Yesterday

Paulie Mac has got life dialed. He is one of those rare people that knows exactly what his place in the world is and he is comfortable in his skin. He can talk politics and the next second comment on architecture. He has great taste in music and his work as a carpenter qualifies him to be called an artist. With a disarming smile, he can disagree with you, making it impossible to get mad as he dismantles your argument. He has served in the Peace Corps in Africa, and ridden in the La Ruta de los Conquistadores. He is one of those guys you wish you could be but at the end of the day, you aren't as smart and lets face it...you don't have the sack.

He has just returned home for his recent stint as a guide on the Tour d' Afrique. He rode from Cairo to Cape town over a four month period and then when it was over, he headed out on his own, cycling across the dark continent. I could go on but if you want the straight story, click on his link on my main page, and get it all from the horses mouth.

Cliffy had a little welcome home shin dig for Paulie and a small but prestigious group of folks turned out. Cliff is a great artist, a world class photog, and his house is a reflection of his tastes and talents. We drank (some of us more then others) talked (some of us more than others) and laughed well into the wee hours. We had a grand time and more than anything welcomed back one of the scenes elite. We won't be able to keep him long, but we wouldn't want to deprive him of his adventures. For an old dog like me, I look forward to reading his blog, looking at his photos, and pasting myself in there (pretend style) as he trots the globe.

Welcome home pal, sorry you can't stay longer, but we wouldn't any other way.

W.B.Z.N.

Glory Days

My eldest brother Ted is the kindest soul that has ever walked this earth. He would literally give the shirt off his back for friend or family. Once upon a time he defied all given logic, beating a disability and his undersized genes to slay a giant. He became a U.D.T. Frog in the sixties. The legends of the training from that era are often told to recruits of the new era. It was the toughest, and most glorious six year period of his life. As a result he compares everything that he is going through to his time in the "Teams". It is an old family jest that Ted can take a discussion about a sandwich and get going about the U.D.T. days.

I have become more like him than I like to admit. My short tenure as a band manager was by far the toughest thing I ever tried to do. Mentally and physically exhausting every skill I ever acquired as a salesman, musician, person.... everything. It took all my effort to get through a day, and when I thought I had seen it all, the next day made the previous, a joke. The problem with these type of experiences is, that while going through them you never have the luxury of enjoying the view. To do so would take your eye off the target, and peril would be eminent. It is not until the battle ends that any real perspective can be gained. You must gather with others that were there, and tell the stories like Nam vets, at a therapy group, because hardly anyone else can bear to listen. My wife has been touching me on the arm for the last three years, to let me know it's time for the conversation be normal, and not about "the time the band was on Carson Daily" or whatever story de' jour might be. Like my Bro, I can connect the thread, from any conversation back to times of fury and heroics.

What do you do when you reach a peak and nothing but valleys lay ahead? Valleys are good and peaceful, the weather is nice. It is a stable place to live. It is the easy place, where the good life occurs. I still feel compelled every so often, to slip the on ring, become invisible in my parlor, and remember the dragons breath. I try to channel the energy into my latest attempt to return to cycling form, and my flashbacks are getting dimmer by the day, but the reminders are everywhere. People remember the tragedy of 911 as a news clip, I remember flying by the smoke on our way to showcase for Roadrunner Records, gripping the arms of our chairs, white knuckled and silent. I hold my hands around the candle. I try to shut out the wind. The white noise grows and the names are all but gone from the wall they were sprayed upon, so many years ago. Like it or not all our footprints get washed away. It makes the gray paint on my cement block office walls a shade or two darker. It gets harder as the years plod on, to push the rock uphill.

Now the thrills I get come at the hands of my sons exploits. #1 on the blocks at his first swim meet, bringing home an "A" in trig, or Lil W.B. nailing a vibe part in marching band, or killing a Muse song in the garage with his band. I feel the warmth of my blessings. I thank the universe for allowing me to ride, and have a family. I have so much more than I deserve. I just wonder if the wizard will ever come back.

Hey, did I ever tell you about the time.......

W.B.Z.N.

Panic Switch

For three days the lights haven't worked in either bathroom or our bedroom. I have been waking up completely disoriented, like touring days of old, in unfamiliar hotel rooms. Ms. Wrecking Ball wakes me. She has taken a cord to the neighbors, for the two refrigerators. I am am the ugly American. I have two refrigerators. My biggest problem is an over abundance of food, I am now protecting like a penguin, on an egg, in winter. The city crews are here. As I open the windows, I see a guy shaking his head and another going for a shovel.

The electricians have the fuse panel torn apart, and wires reach out like hungry children. They have been in the same position for thirty six years bringing power to this house. Now they are a chaotic tangle separated and useless, because a couple lights flickered and went out. I am starting to sweat, it is subtle, not the hard working sweat of productive effort, but the slow immobile accumulation of moisture. Sticky at first, then a stale wetness. I look out the window and remember Mrs. Hillier rapping me on the hand with a ruler for putting my sweaty arm on my paper. White City Elementary had no A/C but they made fresh rolls every day. There is a second electrical contractor truck dripping in oil in my drive and a third city truck rolls up. They are all jovial and discuss the deals they got on Beretta rifles and where they are going for lunch. I am a babe in the woods, they could walk up and say I had unicorns in my lines and I would be powerless to disagree, they hold the switch, and I can't wait to get the gadgets back. I sit like a chick in the nest waiting for them to throw up in my mouth. I hear my voice, as a child, scream in my skull: "Please, I beg you, make the monkey clap the cymbals again."

My mind drifts, I am tired. I haven't slept well for days. When did I become a coddled, power sucking, misfit? How did I get here? I used to go to the beach for hours with no water, money or food, just baggies, wax and a towel. I hitch hiked to the beach, 18 miles each way, when I was thirteen. I skated for hours on one frozen mini pizza and two Pepsi's. I used to play six, forty five minute sets, with ten minute breaks, after loading in stacks of speakers and rigging lights. Now I am in a panic, because I am sweating and I can't access the Internet. I have an irrational image of shows evaporating off my DVR. How did I end up such a pampered shadow of the "tough it out" kid I once was?

The hours erode away, each explanation is more absurd than the one before. There is a hole with five guys sitting in it. A new crew arrives. They all agree that a herd of cats inserted a computer virus into government files that disintegrated the insulation on my main line, which any idiot can see is not reading right on the meter, the guy mumbling pigeon red neck is holding. I am such a dumb ass. Everyone leaves. A new inspector comes and tells me he can hook up the power but the line will definitely fail, and soon. The new fuse box is in ($1500.00) and it looks really cool. I walk in and see green and red L.E.D.'s blinking all around. Nothing, including me, knows what time it is. I go to the bedroom, flip the light switch, and nothing happens.

W.B.Z.N.

Help!

We need to figure out things that will get Big Worm on Facebook. Top ten lists, compromising sex photos, run what ya brung people! Lets make this happen.

W.B.Z.N. *photo credit B.J.S.*