Monday.
I hate bikes. Racing is stupid. Tom Brown is a dumb ass trail. It's been raining. I am not going to race.
Tuesday.
The new fall T.V. season started. No ones yells at me, or drops me, when I am on the sofa. The world is full of people that do not race mountain bikes. Cookies are good. I was planning on changing my riding style to: Bird watching cyclist.
Wednesday.
What am I five years old? I don't have to race because of my crew. The world needs peace and love; not a bunch of middle aged dorks in Lycra, spreading testosterone in the forest.
Thursday.
Wow the trail is REALLY getting ridden in well. I am glad I am not racing. This is great for the trail though. I am railing turns. There's way too many people at Tom Brown.....I could beat that guy. Is he in my class? What's with the stink eye Bro?..... Yo! On your left!
Friday
I am riding a little too hard, you know, in case I decide to race. I need to taper a little more. I probably won't race. I need to save money. I am glad the shop had the new shoes, tires, Ti pedals, XTR drive train, and carbon bars I wanted. It's not my fault they sent me a new credit card. I may need a divorce attorney.
Saturday.
I always stay up till four in the morning cleaning my bike, laying out my kit, and checking my cleats. I can't find my lucky socks....WHERE THE F*#$ ARE MY LUCKY, oh...... here they are. I am so glad I am not racing. It makes people soooo neurotic. Losers. I'll just take the tires off one more time, to check for thorns. Did that rotor just squeak? WHAT THE F^&*?
Sunday.
It's so weird, I have a check right here, filled out to Gone Riding....What a coinky dink. I have to poop RIGHT NOW! I have stopped talking and smiling at anyone who might be in my class, including close friends and their family members. I probably shouldn't have told that guys kid I was going to kick his Dads ass. Oh well, all is fair in love and.....OH SHIT! My class is next! I am going to kill anything that is not in a Bike Chain jersey. Why is this guy crowding me? Home boy better chill! I am feeling the whole shot! 5,4,3,2,1.....AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
W.B.Z.N.
9 comments:
So you’re the guy Colter was talking about.
I still can't decided, two laps or three. Three will probably win out, just because I am stupid.
It wasn't me...I'm not racing.
I'm a birdwatching cyclist too, bet I can spot more species than you!
Heehee. This made me laugh. Sunday is the funny.
You just keep getting better!
look at that wren, or maybe it's a warbler.
I'd race, but I'm doing so well at fantasy football I didn't want to jinx it by actual exertion.
Never stop writing, bro. You nailed it.
Oh, yeah, btw: "LOL!"
WWJD
This should be published in MTB Action, or any other bicycling magazine...great post
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