Wednesday, March 10, 2010

These Days

I suppose it is inevitable that if you stick around long enough you become the punchline in your own joke. Resumes and Facebook bios portray the things you want people to remember, but those are not the things people do most with their time.

People, in general, never consider me a threat. Not on a starting line, not in traffic, not behind a drum kit, and certainly not toe to toe. Over the years I derived a lot of pleasure, making them aware they underestimated me. I am getting older and I have learned you can never beat them enough to make yourself feel better. They never admit they were wrong. In the end, even if totally justified, and the undeniable winner, you have still played their game, and that makes you the fool. It is in the very least, an angry waste of time.

My role has changed pretty drastically in the last few years. I am on the support team around the house. My wife is making the bread rise and my boys are becoming busy young men. I am the main cheer leader, roadie, coach, taxi, and (sometimes) a spectator in the lives that once revolved around me. It has it's moments of pure bliss and times when you have no say what so ever. Part of being a good husband and Dad is knowing when to just stand by and watch. It has always been a tough move for me to master. It frequently has no pay off, which puts it in the company of most things that must be done.

My boys will both be bigger, stronger and better at all the interests we share, very soon. Nothing could make me happier. Big C., is already smarter than I ever was and just needs a little world time, to even up the score. He has found his niche as a swimmer, and more than ever, I have a glimpse of the man he could be. L.W.B. looks like a chip off the block but really, he can do anything I can do, with about half the effort and twice the style. Fine with me. Maybe enough good traits will be passed and the short comings will fade with me. That's how it appears to be shaping up from the sideline. I hope it lasts.

I am logging a lot of saddle time with L.W.B.. Big C. and I chat more than ever, to and from swim practice. We have found a few shows to watch as a family, that have brought us all back to the dinner table. Somehow we have reeled the boys back in from the edge. Somehow we have pulled out a victory over the appliances in the their rooms.

It is okay to be in the back round. It is okay to applaud. It is okay not to kick a guys ass for nearly crashing into you, and not ever taking out his ear buds to apologise. It's okay not to slap the taste out of a counter rats face, for insulting you in front of your son. It's okay to see him learn a lesson, because for once, you didn't take the bait. I keep telling myself it's all okay.

In through the nose and out through the mouth.....



BIG JIM said...

"People, in general, never consider me a threat. Not on a starting line..." This statement has no thought of me. All I've seen of you in a race is your backside.

Nice post. I have a real hard time relating as I have no children and my relationship with my dad was non-existent. I do miss riding with my Wrecking Ball however.

bikechain said...

I feel you. Ironically, my kids are the motivation for pulling me back into the game. The old "I want my kids to be better than I am" philosophy. But to do that - you have to inspire. You can't inspire by downing twinkies and cokes everyday. Keep up the good work. BTW, you are a winner.


nicol said...

That last photo is so cool. The sky is incredible. I like the way you are thinking here. I get it. From beginning to end it made a lot of sense and I think that type of thought process comes with age and experience. I wouldn't go back to being 20 for anything, because what we learn in life everyday is so valuable and I like knowing something the counter rat doesn't. Smart post, HWB. Nice.

WheelDancer said...

Your attitude here renews my faith in the human race. It's all dead true, easy even, but much too rare in my experience.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Thanks Nic, Jim, BUTCHER!
W.D., Well before you pat me on the back I should say, holding the anger back, is not the norm for me. I'm pretty vocal. I am trying.
As far as the boys go: I wonder if I am too hard on them, but I can't stand by and watch them become stagnant. It has been a struggle, we got lucky they finally got interested in activities. GOD I HATE THE X-BOX!

Mingo said...

When I start to write, it becomes hard to see.

I love the dinner table.

I love discovering the right moment to share a story.

No one sees you as a threat, you have my respect just not through fear.

Magnum said...


Human Wrecking Ball said...

Thanks fellas.

juancho said...

Dang bro. I know better than to bet against you in anything.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

I almost never give away the lyrical clues in the titltes but I have to post the verse from the Jackson Brown song that made me write this post, as I sat stewing in anger about the supposed slight I suffered that day. I hope you get as much out of it as I did.

"I'll keep on moving
Things are bound to be improving these days
One of these days--
These days I sit on corner stones
And count the time in quarter tones to ten, my friend
Don't confront me with my failures
I had not forgotten them"

Velosopher said...

Don't know about anyone else, but the qualities you're working on are the ones I look for in someone I would call a good man, or a good friend.

I doubt myself nearly every day. But if those qualities were easy to attain, there'd be a lot more good men and good friends.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

Thanks Velo. It is a rare thing when I get it right. I am always surprised how long it takes to recover from not "taking the bait". The alternative is far worse, especially when my sons are watching.

juancho said...

You know what quality I like in a friend? More frequent updates.

Human Wrecking Ball said...

I keep going to the well but the bucket has no water.